Have you noticed how sometimes your life seems to be going in circles as if you are repeating the same experiences over and over? Or you keep reacting in the same way even when the circumstances seem different? Well, you are not alone.
Most often we are unaware that the way we act is associated with some of the roles we decided to play in life. The key is to better understand why we act the way we do so we do not have to act the same way anymore.
Understanding your favoritism
I’m usually not in favor of locking people in specific roles. Instead, I prefer when we gain knowledge of our behaviors so we can transcend our personality tendencies.
There is a tool that I find very helpful in better understanding how and why we favor some behaviors in our lives. The Enneagram, a method for categorizing people based on personality types, can be used as a door to understand the way we act in certain circumstances. There are many Enneagram books such as Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery or The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People.
There are nine personality types and many subtleties associated with your core type, as described in How the Enneagram System Works.
1. The Reformer
2. The Helper
3. The Achiever
4. The Individualist
5. The Investigator
6. The Loyalist
7. The Enthusiast
8. The Challenger
9. The Peacemaker
Even though you may play all of these roles at one time or another, there is one that is your core personality type. Most often, your personality type will hit you in the face when you start learning about the different types. You may come to see that the way you behave is in many cases not all that healthy.
Where to begin
An easy way to start is by taking an online test to get a feel of your core personality type. Notice that these tests are not always accurate. It is a good idea to combine a personality test with the study of the Enneagram types to have a more well-rounded view of your patterns.
The key to the madness
As you uncover your personality type, it is very important that you do not get attached to your new label. Instead, use this new insight into your personality as a tool for self-discovery.
As you become aware of the pattern you perform when interacting with others, you can choose to no longer play the same old role. This awareness is what will allow you to transcend your repetitive behavior. Self-growth comes only when you start to better understand yourself. It is then that you can consciously choose a different path for the way you act and interact with life and others.
In a nutshell…
1. Figure out your Enneagram type
2. Don’t get attached to this new label
3. Use this knowledge to recognize your behavioral patterns
4. Choose to act differently from the way you usually do
Have fun playing with the personality types and uncovering your hidden agenda.
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Hi Andrea,
What a wonderful article. I’ve never heard of this personality typing.
I’m going to look into it.
It seems quite fascinating.
Thank you!
Hi Angela! Thanks for visiting. The Enneagram can be an interesting self-discovery journey but it’s definitely worth checking it out. :D Much love, Andrea
Hi Andrea
“the way we act is associated with some of the roles we decided to play in life”
The idea reminds me of the concepts put forward in Eric Berne’s book “Games People Play”
In his book Eric Berne describes various roles that we decide to take on and then look for people who will compliment those roles and reinforce our ideas.
Totally agree with what you’re saying – might spur me into reading the book again.
Hi Keith! I haven’t read this book but it sounds interesting. Funny that you mentioned it because my next post is exactly about the roles we play in life. I wasn’t using his spin of we look for people to compliment those roles but that sounds right on the mark.
Thanks for your insight. Loving blessings!
Only a small book but well worth a read Andrea.
The idea of finding people to compliment our role is central to the book.
The “games” need more than one person and we are all good at finding people to play the various roles. If people won’t play… we avoid them.
Have a read and see which games you play… scary!
I’ll definitely check it out. At the conscious level, I don’t like to play games. Since most of the games we play are at the subconscious level, I’m all for exploring them for personal growth. :)
Following searching Google I found your site. I think both are great and I is going to be coming back again to you and them in the long term. Thanks
Hi! I’m truly grateful that you found us through Google. I never know how people end up here. :) Thanks for your kind words. I hope to see you again.
Loving blessings!