You may think that you want many things in life. The truth is that basically everyone only wants one thing in life.
The one thing that everyone has in common is that we all want to be happy. As the Dalai Lama would say “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”
But happiness shows up for each person in a different form. Some consider that finding their perfect mate will bring them happiness. Others consider that winning the lotto is what will make them happy. There are countless circumstances in our lives to which we attribute our happiness.
We seem to be certain of what we need in our lives to be happy. The question, then, is how to get what we want so we can be totally happy.
There are three fool proof steps to help you get exactly what you want in life.
1. Evaluate your desires
The first step is to gain awareness of conflicting desires. We tend to think that we are clear about what we want. In reality, what we carry inside of us is a jumble of conflicting thoughts about what we want. Don’t believe it? Try this simple exercise:
Close your eyes and think about something that you want. Notice how many other desires, even contradicting desires, also populate your mind. Be truthful with yourself when trying this.
I’m renting a gorgeous house that I love. My contract is up and I thought that I was pretty clear that wanted to renew the lease. When I tried the above exercise, I noticed conflicting ideas in my mind. I noticed that I wanted to renew the lease but that I also thought that maybe moving to a cheaper rental would be better, or that buying our own house would be more beneficial, or that having a house with a better office could have its benefits, and so on.
Another common example is that many people want to be successful. At the same, though, some of them don’t want to be successful because they are afraid of success or they feel they are not good enough to be successful.
We have conflicting interests for most of the items in our lives. For each item that we aspire to, we have many other thoughts that contradict and compete with that desire.
2. Go for the big guns
The second step is to release the form and go for the essence. Since we have conflicting ideas of what makes us happy, it’s logical to conclude that we don’t really know the best forms for our happiness. Therefore, instead of concentrating on the form (how our happiness should be delivered), let’s concentrate on happiness itself.
Analyze why is it that you want the job, the mate, and the money. Usually it’s because you think that those things are going to bring you happiness. However, don’t ask for all the small things that might bring you happiness. Rather, go for the big guns. Ask for the essence of what you want, which is happiness itself.
When Mandy graduated with at degree in Marketing, she had her eye on a great job at a top marketing firm. She knew that if she could only get that job, her life would be perfect. She would be the happiest person alive. Mandy ended up getting that job. Even though the job was everything she wanted, it only brought her misery. The job offered great pay, powerful location downtown, and wonderful growth opportunities. On the other hand, the people she worked with gossiped behind her back and back stabbed each other on the way up. She couldn’t stand the work atmosphere, so she ended up quitting.
When we ask for a specific form, such as a certain job, we can’t be positive whether that form is the correct answer to our desire for happiness. However, when we only ask for happiness itself, and let go of focusing on the particular form it should show up in, we are guaranteed to be happy.
3. Release your desire
Once you’ve released the idea of how your happiness is supposed to show up and you’ve asked instead for pure happiness itself, release your desire for happiness to the universe. When you allow the universe to deliver your happiness in whatever way it sees fit, your happiness shows up in magnificent ways.
Allow the universe to work its magic. Meanwhile, love everything that comes your way. Each and everything that shows up is part of the plan that the universe is weaving for you.
Getting what you want
You only have to take the above three steps to get exactly what you want. Most often, the happiness you were seeking will come in a different package than you expected. Nonetheless, you are guaranteed to receive your desire — happiness.
Happiness is not something readymade. It comes from your own actions.
– The Dalai Lama
Take the words of the Dalai Lama to heart. Start taking these steps towards your happiness now.
What brings you happiness? How do you create happiness in your life?
With you always in my heart,
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